Liberate Me Ex Hoc Furor - Save Me From This Madness

[Rogues' Gallery]

Pretentious Latin Motto? Check.

Pretentious Thread Name to post the Monthly Writings and Chapters of my Pretentious Story? Check.

Overuse of the Pretentious word Pretentious in a poor attempt to be Pretentiously Humorous? Check.

New to the writing sub-forum, first chapter will be available this weekend...Maybe. if Kitsune gets back to me.

Until then, refreshments are available in the Lobby. But they're overpriced.

*Dramatic Sound Effect*

Now Enter~~

[Kitsune Inferno]

I'll bring my own in my manpurse, thank you very much.

[Rogues' Gallery]

my manpurse

[Rogues' Gallery]

My Candyland lawyer has informed me that there are young minds here on Apforums whose innocence must be allowed to blossom admist the dark, corrupt corners of the internet,
so for liability purposes, I am posting a disclaimer 10 Psyducks long:





but we're all mature here, right GUYZ?

[metteminne]

Oh but you of all people should know , there's plenty of wrong with us

[Rogues' Gallery]

Oh but you of all people should know,

there's plenty wrong...

with me.

*GASP*



I am simply shocked that you, of all people, would act in such a way. Your behaviour is absolutely inexcusable, young man.

Now go sit in the corner and reflect upon your actions.

[metteminne]

*GASP*

http://desmond.imageshack.us/Himg40/...png&res=medium

I am simply shocked that you, of all people, would act in such a way. Your behaviour is absolutely inexcusable, young man.

Now go sit in the coner and reflect upon your actions.

http://viewfromthedolequeue.files.wo.../dunce_cap.jpg

No ! >: (



Also I should try to stop spamming here now :p

[Rogues' Gallery]

No ! >: (

http://cdn.chud.com/a/a9/a9b30c7a_batscoob.jpg

Also I should try to stop spamming here now :p

Curses, foiled again!

I don't mind conversation here, keeps the place lively in-between writings and I won't feel lonely...

[metteminne]

You don't have a story ready yet?




No way!

[Shuhan]

Can't you guys take this seriously? We all are adults here right?

Hidden:

aww, who am I kidding....

[Rogues' Gallery]

A little Teaser for you impatient folk *coughmettecough*

Spoiler:

The Great Worm

Prologue

The capital of Suva, VitiLevu Island, The Republic of Fiji, September 2009

I recall once reading a book titled The Omnivore’s Dilemma written by an American journalist, Pollan something-or-other I believe, which began with the question “What should we have for Dinner?” He argued that America was suffering from a “national eating disorder”, which when faced with a wide variety of food choices often results in confusion and anxiety. An intriguing topic I might say, although ludicrous in the notion that it requires “a complex and fairly involved answer”. I no longer have any anxiety about my meals. Our choice is clear. It’s all about corn syrup and industrial feedlots he rattled, about chemicals, synapses, organic grasses and government subsidiaries; such pretentious irrelevant crap and the like; don’t you agree? That’s not to say that it wouldn’t prove to be an engaging subject in and of itself, but one perhaps best left to the intellectually improper mind; although I’m hard pressed to admit that his definition of a human being amounting to little more than “walking processed corn” struck me as colorfully amusing. And here I was concerned that I’d been skipping out on my daily intake of processed corn! So very reassuring indeed. I would like to meet this “Pollan” character one day, even if he is male.

But I digress. We like to think of ourselves as cultured men and a true Humanitarians, but I suppose that “we” as a species have yet to deviate from our earliest roots as hunters of corn. How regretful, if not a tad appropriate. But best shelve those thoughts for a later date; eyeing the voluptuously tanned-skinned girl slouched at an outdoor table on Tiko’s floating Seafood Restaurant & Bar from where she sat at a picnic table in Sukuna Park; ear-buds playing some music of sorts, her hair like dark chocolate dancing softly along her cheeks as if tenderly led-in-step by a goddess of wind: We have processed corn to eat. And a fresh ‘corn’ specimen at that! Sweet indigenous Fijian blood running strong, that one. I know. I can smell the taste. You tend to develop a certain ‘finesse’ at these types of things over the years, or so I’ve come to learn; adjusting his binoculars as she uncrossed her dark legs and stood to leave, leaving the plate of Fish & Chips she was served hardly touched. Not hungry? Oh my little Felise, We’re opposites already. *giggle*

Hearsay tells me that only within the heart of Fiji’s harbor-capital can you sample true Fijian-cuisine in all its young and bountiful…exquisiteness. I am eager to confirm this, yet not so eager as to pick food off the street like a common beggar. Oh no, We are cultured men, and cultured men must always know what they choose to ingest, the ingredients that make a meal oh so much more delectable. And I know my ingredients. I know all about my little Felise, now don’t I? 14 years old and dressed so flirtatiously. If her only her parents knew. Whatever would they say? Something disapproving, I’m sure. A click of the tongue here, a few sharply-phrased words there, followed by ♪screaming and crying and eating and dying and laughing and laughing and laughing allllllll the way home.♫ Tell me, what do you hunger Felise? Certainty not the fish & chips. Do you hunger for acceptance among your peers? You’re parent’s approval? Or do you hunger for that one special someone, that boy who will surely hold you, love you, cherish you? I hunger for so much more always hungry. Your provocative clothing tailored to wet a sane man’s crotch…and my mouth. The humid weather isn’t the only thing that’s moist. And to think Fiji was once known as the ‘Cannibal Isles’. Irony is delicious. I'm sure you won't be much different. Oh Pollan, if only you knew. Oh yes…

So much more than processed Corn.

1st Course Comes 2/25/2012

Comments? Reviews?

[Kitsune Inferno]

SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE

We gotta stop 'em!

[Rogues' Gallery]

SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE

We gotta stop 'em!

I actually had to Google your quote to understand what you were talking about.

so...thoughts? criticisms?

[Kitsune Inferno]

To be honest, I'm somewhere between "love it" and "creeped out". Haven't decided yet. :P You've certainly got a knack, and to say I'm not interested in more would be a flat out disgusting lie.

[Rogues' Gallery]

To be honest, I'm somewhere between "love it" and "creeped out". You've certainly got a knack, and to say I'm not interested in more would be a flat out disgusting lie.

Exactly where I want you to be, baby.

[metteminne]

The problem I have is that the language is pretty hard to read for me , even if your story seems interesting

[Dryish]

As the unofficially official advocate of cannibalism on these forums, I approve of this small bit we've been served. It was the perfect appetizer as I now hunger for more. More, I say, more. Give us more.

Seriously speaking, I am actually really impressed and surprised by this, because I did not expect much of it. Dark themes have never been my cup of tea, and I've always thought it's a genre that, in general, is really difficult to write in an interesting fashion. The Great Worm, however, seems to have that something many writings miss -- the potential. It's written all over it. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing where you're planning to take this from here on out. There are some minor grammar and spelling mistakes scattered here and there, though, so you might want to keep a close eye on them in the future.

Good luck. Yours is a magnificent start.

[Shuhan]

Is...is it okay that reading this made me a little...hungry?

As much as I am a wuss around content, I found it a fun read. I like stories that challenge the reader to think about what they have just read and this made me...think...we may need another judge.

*eyes Dryish with hungry eyes.

[Dryish]

Mmhm, oh yes, oh yes. I believe you have it quite right there, Shu. After all, my post did underline the fact that I have.. shall we say, cannibalistic tendencies. *licks his lips*

[Kitsune Inferno]

In all seriousness, the only real question I have here is:

Spoiler:

Butter or gravy?